A Time to Mourn
by Appaku
Summary: ONESHOT, SPOILERS: Tasuki reflects on death and the loss of a fellow warrior.


Tasuki sat alone in his room in the palace of Konan, looking out the window and off into space. Today he had no choice but to put on the happy face for everyone. The upcoming war was breathing down their necks, and they all wanted to be happy for Hotohori and his new wife. Everyone still had a lump in their throats, since only a few hours beforehand, Yui had summoned Seiryuu. In addition, the youngest in their group had committed a brave act in order to save them all. As shocked as Tasuki was when Nuriko died, he had the time to mourn as they traveled. He was also fortunate then to have missed watching his last moments. Today was different, since he experienced the boy's entire ordeal along side him. Every scream, every bead of sweat, it was all vivid to him.

By himself at last, he could mourn without making everyone else sad with him. The tears fell freely as he reflected on Chiriko's death. He was sure those words would haunt him forever: "Please… kill me with your fire."

"_I'm sorry," the surviving warrior thought. "I was too afraid to hurt you. So you had to take the burden of your death all by yourself."_

Tasuki's shoulders tightened as the image of Chiriko stabbing himself rushed back into his head. It reminded him of things he had heard when he was younger about souls who took their own lives. They had to be civil servants, or take the souls of others, and were unable to reincarnate. He had also heard that some would be doomed to wandering the world as lonesome ghosts. He shook his bright hair around and chased those thoughts away. "_That can't happen to Chiriko. He didn't commit suicide because he was depressed. He did that to save us."_

That reminded him that even earlier that day, Chiriko was having a pretty hard time himself putting on the happy face. It was revealed to Tasuki that he really was fairly depressed about having ruined the summoning of Suzaku before. He was thoroughly convinced that he was a useless burden on them all. Heaving a deep sigh, Tasuki thought of everything he could have said to raise his spirits back then. To be honest, the constant personality switches got on his nerves quite a bit, but he didn't mind Chiriko's weak side at all.

Another train of thought formed. If Chiriko had his character shining at the time, would Miboshi have possessed his body in the first place? Or would the boy genius have been able to think of a different way to save everyone? Hopefully, in the after life, Chiriko wouldn't be wondering the same thing. The last thing Tasuki wanted was for him to die with regret. He was sure to have his regrets, though. Anyone having to give their life so young definitely would.

His thoughts came back to himself. At heart, he was still just the young bandit Genrou, barely having tasted life himself. With Seiryuu on their side now, the Kutou army was going to be quite a force to reckon with. Plenty of the people of Konan were going to join his departed warriors, and there was a great possibility he would be one of them. Tasuki curled into a fetal position and admitted he was afraid of leaving this world and all his friends for the next. Not that he would admit it to anyone, though.

A memory of his old bandit boss ran through his head. He was the one who explained to young Genrou about his destiny under the name "Tasuki", in which he would protect his priestess with all that he had- including his life. His arm flashed with his character, renewing his courage, and reassuring him that dieing for his friends was not something to cower from, but certainly not embrace, either.

"_If death knocks at my door, then it knocks. But I can't protect everyone if I open the door for it too fast." _A small smile hit Tasuki's face as he closed his eyes contently. He still felt guilty for letting Chiriko suffer so much. Even worse, they all had failed him by letting Seiryuu be summoned. The only way to make it up to him now was to be a brave warrior in his place. His eyes stayed closed, as he let sleep take hold of him.


End file.
